Vile, Repulsive & Worthy of Death

“Fear and love cannot live together… Blows are used to correct brute beasts.” – Seneca (Roman philosopher, author, politician, 4 B.C.E. to C.E. 65)

As many of you may be aware, although I have been out of the Jehovah’s Witnesses for over 25 years it has only been the past few weeks that I have woken up.  I honestly thought that it was probably “The Truth”.   I thought that Armageddon was going to come, I even kept watching for prophesies to be fulfilled.  So even though things were very hard for me within the organisation I really believed that my life depended upon staying a Jehovah’s Witness.  It was becoming increasingly difficult on a personal level.

sad girl.pngI had known, since I was a child that I wasn’t straight.  But in the context of the upbringing of a Jehovah’s Witness, my feelings were of personal disgust and horror.  Homosexuality is something repugnant to Jehovah’s Witnesses.  They are taught it is a perversion.  Growing up these are the sorts of things that I would be taught or that I would read in Watchtower publications on a regular basis:

“worthy of the death penalty” – Awake! 1982 Jun 22 p.10

“detestable to Jehovah, vile, repulsive” – Watchtower 1979 Mar 15 pp.10,11

Even though they would like everyone to see their belief akin to “hate the sin not the sinner”, they liken homosexuality to being a child abuser.

“True, some individuals may very well be prone to homosexuality, just as some individuals are, according to the Bible, “prone to wrath.” (Titus 1:7) But the Bible still condemns displays of unrighteous anger. (Ephesians 4:31) Similarly, a Christian cannot excuse immoral behavior by saying he was ‘born that way.’ Child molesters invoke the same pathetic excuse when they say their craving for children is “innate.” But can any one deny that their sexual appetite is perverted? So is the desire for someone of the same sex.” Awake! 1995 Feb 8 p.16

So wanting equal human rights is apparently the same as wanting to abuse children?  This is the most vile and hate-filled rhetoric!  No weird mental gymnastics going on there then.

The Flood Illustration from the children’s book “My Book of Bible Stories” [1]

Growing up I thought that I was perverted, vile and worthy of death.  I’d seen all of the illustrations of people supposedly killed by Jehovah – Sodom and Gomorrah, the Flood, and what was supposedly going to happen at Armageddon.  Each time I looked at those illustrations, I saw myself on the side of the evil people.  I saw myself dying horribly.  I couldn’t imagine myself in the “paradise earth” because it would be someone I didn’t recognise, it wouldn’t be the same “me” that existed now.

Then they go on to outright LIE about how they treat those from the LGBTQ+ community.

Jehovah’s Witnesses choose to live by the moral code set forth in the Bible. They do not approve of the actions that the Bible prohibits. But they neither mock nor mistreat people whose practices differ from their own. Awake!  |  No. 4 2016

Not only was I a worthless pervert worthy of death but I could never be honest about being queer.  If you are a Jehovah’s Witness and come out as being any flavour of LGBTQ+ this will result in you being disfellowshipped.  This is most definitely mistreating people!

Some of the offenses that could merit disfellowshipping from the Christian congregation are fornication, adultery, homosexuality, greed, extortion, thievery, lying, drunkenness, reviling, spiritism, murder, idolatry, apostasy, and the causing of divisions in the congregation. – Insight, Volume 1 p. 788

When disfellowshipped you are shunned by all of your family and friends.  Shunned as in they will cross the road to get away from you if they see you in the street.  Shunned as they will avoid any eye contact, they will not talk to you even to greet you.  They will treat you as if you do not exist.

“Thus “disfellowshiping” is what Jehovah’s Witnesses appropriately call the expelling and subsequent shunning of such an unrepentant wrongdoer.” Watchtower 1981 Sep 15 p.22

“… a simple “Hello” to someone can be the first step that develops into a conversation and maybe even a friendship. Would we want to take that first step with a disfellowshiped person?” Watchtower 1981 Sep 15 p.25

Unrepentant?  How can you repent of something that is just who you are?  I was acutely aware that for me to apologise for being who I am would be dishonest.  It would be like apologising for having green eyes.  I can’t, they’re just there, in my head, staring out for everyone to see.

I didn’t recognise that I was being mentally, psychologically and emotionally abused.  I do today and at nearly 50 years old I am finally attempting to heal some of the damage done.  Treating children in this way when they are in their formative years, teaching children that they are bad – is abuse, pure and simple.

frightened child“Shaming and humiliating children is emotionally abusive. It is not ok to smack children physically or with words. Young people deserve and are entitled to reach out, attach and bond with their caretakers. It is an expectation that the parent will provide safety, protection, acceptance, understanding and empathy. When this does happen, children grow up knowing their worth and demanding respect from others and themselves. When children are emotionally or psychologically abused, they grow up feeling unloved, unwanted, and fearful. Normal development is interrupted and it sends the wounded child into exile. This is when negative internal messages are developed and why we have so many adults today feeling ‘not good enough.’

“As Seneca (Roman philosopher, author, politician, 4 B.C.E. to C.E. 65) says, ‘Fear and love cannot live together…Blows are used to correct brute beasts.'” – Karyl McBride PhD – Psychology Today – [2]

Fear and abusive methods are what the Watchtower organisation use to control their members.  Today I saw an excellent video by the wonderful Annoni Mowse.  I highly recommend you all to have a watch.  It’s a brief but succinctly accurate explanation of the tools of fear used by the Watchtower organisation:

Thank you all for your continued support of my blog.  I hope to have a new YouTube video uploaded by the weekend!  Thank you for reading.


Further Reading:

Other references to homosexuality in Watchtower publications:
“abhorrent, sexually degrading, unnatural, sordid” – Watchtower 2012 Mar 15 p.31
“an unnatural sexual perversion” – Awake! 1997 Dec 8 pp.14-15
“sick and perverted” – Awake! 1995 Feb 8 p.16
“gruesome, violent, and downright sadistic.” Awake! 1995 Feb 22 p.14
“disgraceful sexual appetites, obscene” – True Peace p.150
“worthy of the death penalty” – Awake! 1982 Jun 22 p.10
“perverted desires” – Awake! 1989 Jul 8 p.27
“detestable to Jehovah, vile, repulsive” – Watchtower 1979 Mar 15 pp.10,11


[1] The Flood as illustrated in “My Book of Bible Stories” for children published by Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania.
[2] Karyl McBride PhD –
Shaming Children is Emotionally Abusive –


4 thoughts on “Vile, Repulsive & Worthy of Death

  1. Well read and referenced. After 55 years in I am now just exiting, father to 3 , Elder for 10 years etc……so many lies and wasted year’s. I enjoy your post and your tube videos…well done for taking the time to help others.

    Liked by 1 person

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