So. Much. Stuff. Plus “Conditional Love”.

I was intending on writing a blog once a week and spreading my story out over a long period of time because, in my mind when I created this blog, there was a finite number of interesting experiences that I could relate.  Oh how wrong was I.  I’ve only had this blog for a few days and I’ve published two blogs already.  I’ve got about a dozen half written drafts on top of that, and more and more ideas for blogs keep popping into my head based on things that directly happened to me.  So apologies if my blog comes across as so much stuff all in one go, but I’ve realised that I need to just get this information written down and published as soon as possible to help the psychological purging process.


Please bear with me if some of my posts don’t give very specific details about dates, times, locations and the real names of people.  It’s not that these events aren’t very, very real, it’s just that I still need to protect myself.  I have one very elderly relative who is still a Jehovah’s Witness.  They have dementia and I don’t want to lose contact with them.  I have a tiny family and I want to be able to keep in contact with this family member for as long as they have left to live.  I cannot afford to have the Watchtower meddle in my relationship with my elderly relative by taking away their contact with me – I am their only living relation other than my two children.  It would be unbearably cruel.  I’m not so much thinking of me when I say this, I’m talking about my relation who has advanced dementia.  Every time we talk it is evident that our relationship is one of the few things left that they are hanging onto.  I can’t have that taken away from them.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that the brothers and sisters of the congregation aren’t wonderfully supportive of my relation, but lets face it, this support is conditional on someone being faithful to the organisation.  It’s not “unconditional love”.  Everything that Jehovah’s Witness do for each other is very much conditional on one staying within the organisation.

The hypocrisy of this is very evident from this quote from the Awake magazine February, 8, 2004 in an answer to a question from one of their readers.  They wrote, “The phrase ‘unconditional love’ was used to suggest that parents should not imply that their love for their children is fragile or tenuous​—that it might be withdrawn at any moment because of some failing on the child’s part or that the child is obliged to earn parental love by doing everything just right.​”

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Yet this is exactly what the Watchtower organisation expects.  Love for a family member is withdrawn “at any moment” as soon as that family member is no longer a Jehovah’s Witness.  If you are a Witness reading this I know exactly what you are thinking.  “Ah but we still love our family member and our shunning them shows the depth of our true love by demonstrating the error of their ways.  It encourages them to come back to Jehovah.  It is, in fact, true love, because we want them to have life forever on earth under Jehovah and if we keep talking to them they’ll think that we approve of their behaviour.  We hate the sin not the sinner.”  Oh pur-leese!  I used to think this way too.  That was until I realised that this is circular thinking and only serves to the benefit of the Watchtower organisation not to the benefit of their members.


The following is directly from the Watchtower’s “Keep Yourselves in God’s Love” publication on pages 207-209.  The reasons for shunning?

  1. Loyalty to Jehovah.
  2. To keep the congregation clean, i.e. The Watchtower Organisation.
  3. Yes, they manage to throw in a halfhearted it’s for the good of the shunned one to “help him come come ‘to his senses’.  Which apparently is less important than the organisation, i.e. conditional love.

The difference between my love for my family members and their “love”, is that I am willing to die for my family members, whereas they are willing to die for the Watchtower organisation.  Love for their family comes way down the list.  This is seriously messed up and is completely due to the unreasonable and extreme indoctrination of the organisation.  It’s not enough for someone to believe in “god”, have “faith”, live a “good and moral life”.  They have to be a loyal member of the Watchtower organisation only.Screenshot (11)

To summarise, I refuse to lose contact with my much loved family member.  I refuse to allow them to get between us just to further their own agenda.

If you are an activist and you would like to get in contact with me to get details of who I am in order to verify the facts in my blog posts, please contact me via this page and I’ll be happy to speak with you.



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